Characters

Please note: this page is incomplete, and is currently a work in progress. Check back soon for additions to the roster, and updated descriptions.

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The Bronson family

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Paxton Bronson

Age: 43
Birthday: August 23rd

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Bio: The main character of the webcomic, a loving father and caring husband who happens to be a big, fat panda. He's a true giant, standing at eight feet and two inches tall, and weighing more than 1,400 pounds. He could be a true force to be reckoned with, but he is as jolly a figure as Santa Claus - he's the epitome of the term "big fun" and is quite proud of his huge size. He might even let anyone get away with making fat jokes as long as they don't go too overboard! Although he's not the brightest bulb, Paxton certainly knows how to be a father. Raising nine kids seems like stress for most, but he and his wife Kayley manage to take control. Paxton's occupation reflects on this - he works as an assistant librarian at the local library, where everyone can gather around him reading fairy tales and other short stories. But Paxton's life wasn't always this happy. As a child, he grew up in a particularly rough neighborhood. Petty crimes like burglary and assault were commonplace, and Paxton had to take those matters into his own hands. This is how he became known for his brawn despite being very fat. His happy-go-lucky attitude towards everyone is only a facade from his true personality, a serious, tough, and ruthless panda that can and will kick your butt. Paxton is often seen in the garage, lifting weights and listening to heavy metal music.

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Kayley Bronson
Age: 39
Birthday: February 15th

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Bio: Kayley is Paxton's wife, married to him for many years. Born into a particularly wealthy family, Kayley was always spoiled rotten as a child, and still is in her current life with her husband. The humongous mansion they live in wouldn't have been theirs without her. Even after bearing nine children, their relationship is still very active. She first met Paxton at their favorite bar in the city, which they did by complete accident. Kayley wasn't supposed to be there in the first place, and went in there thinking that it was where a friend worked. And lo and behold, she came face to face with a really big panda who was the talk of the town. It was here where a long conversation between the two of them took place. They realized that they truly loved each other, and the few oddities between them didn't stop them from their eventual marriage. The relationship with Paxton and

Kayley's family is a very different matter, however. Both her parents and her two brothers have a bit of a love-hate relationship between them. They may be open and welcoming to Paxton, but at the same time they're jealous of him about how big and popular he is. They also dislike him for how he can be rather dumb at times, and and how both he and Kayley live a very elegant and lavish lifestyle compared to them. As long as they remain faithful to each other, Kayley will forever and always be Paxton's sweetheart.

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Dylan Bronson
Age: 16

Birthday: April 23rd

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Bio: The eldest child of the family, Dylan is constantly complaining about very trivial problems, such as slow internet and tough homework. Being a junior in high school is only part of the problem, however. He's got a decent social life with several good friends, and likes to go golfing any chance he would get. But the difficult exams and the persistent bullying he goes through could get through to him, and could make him end up depressed. Of course, the rest of his family is very supportive of him in overcoming these issues, especially Kayley, who Dylan prefers to talk about his troubles with. He absolutely struggles the most with algebra equations, and can't get it complete without help from his little brother Thomas. He does good in every other class he takes, and is also prone to taking long naps. In a nutshell, Dylan is just an average teenager trying to get through life.

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Tara Bronson
Age: 15

Birthday: September 8th

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Bio: The second child of the Bronson family. Tara seems to have inherited her father's masculinity and serious attitude. She could beat you up, but you'd have to really tick her off. Despite her tough appearance she does not tolerate bullies. Those who try to pick on her friends and family, especially her older brother Dylan, will instantly regret it once they see her approaching. Tara is of average intelligence and may need some big help when she calls for it. A familiar sight at the local gym, she can easily turn heads with her build - though sometimes not in a good way. It could turn away potential boyfriends and love interests, but she doesn't care and she is still searching even if it takes years. Tara has also taken up a bit of interest in video games, but only because she's the one to look after the kids when the parents aren't home. High school is definitely not a problem in her life, as she breezes through day by day finishing homework in time.

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Hannah and Rachel Bronson
Age: 14
Birthday: June 3rd

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Bio: The first set of twins in the family, Hannah and Rachel came into the world not long after the births of Dylan and Tara. People don't seem to believe that they really are twins, because their interests and personalities are completely different. Hannah is cheerful, energetic, and naive while Rachel is calm, refined and relaxed. It's very rare for these two to share the same interests, and any attempt for them to get into each other's hobbies are usually failures. While they don't interact much with their siblings, they may hang out with them if they want to or if they agree with it. One topic they often chatter on about is the perils of being "tweens", such as puberty and the social anxiety that comes with it. It's up to Paxton and Kayley to figure out how to best resolve this sort of problem, even if it means having some very long talks.

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Lydia Bronson
Age: 11
Birthday: October 1st

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Bio: Although Lydia is a bright, clever elementary-aged girl, she also acts very, very immature for her age. It's due to being Paxton's favorite child, and she loves him just as much as he loves her. To give an idea how callow Junie is, she would only go to bed if Paxton reads her a bedtime story. She's eleven years old, she clearly can do things by herself, and Paxton expects her to do them without his help. But she will certainly run over to her father on just about any troubling occasion. There is even a recurring running gag in the strip where it starts with Junie asking Paxton a question right when he is in the middle of lifting weights in the garage. This can annoy him, but since it is Junie he has no choice but to help. She seems to be very obsessed with not just Paxton but also his huge belly, and it is completely normal for the both of them to be cuddling together. Kayley on the other hand doesn't see a problem in this, as long as Junie spends a fair amount of time with her as well. But for now, Junie will always be Paxton's favorite.

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Thomas Bronson
Age: 10
Birthday: April 10th

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Bio: He's smart. The epitome of smart. You'd find his picture right next to the word "sagacious" in the dictionary. It wouldn't be Thomas if he didn't come home from school with A+++ grades. He does very well in most subjects, and he's an absolute whiz in algebra and geography. The only class he doesn't do good in is P.E. (and Paxton is confused at the irony). When he ever gets homework, expect it to be done in about twenty minutes. Or possibly another ten if he comes up with some extra credit to do for the heck of it. He's a huge fan of the in-universe comic book Albiorix, which is about a giant superhero grizzly bear from outer space. Thomas is a huge gamer, too. His favorite games are usually from Nintendo, such as Super Mario Bros and Pokémon. He also plays games from other consoles like the PlayStation and Xbox, and can often be seen in the "game room" playing away on games with varying genres from racing to adventure. Thomas is also into first-person shooters, but don't tell the parents!

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Luther Bronson
Age: 8
Birthday: July 7th

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Bio: This cheerful child is well known for his optimism and always looking at the bright side of life, even when time passes and things change. He's still learning new things here and there, and does a great job at doing what he is told to do. Even doing some of the chores around the house doesn't make him mad in the slightest. Modern-day technology highly fascinates Luther, although he would rather experiment on them with the parents than his siblings. There's a lot of humor coming from this young boy, too - the jokes and puns that he can come up are actually pretty funny. Of all of his brothers and sisters, Lydia is Luther's favorite, and share a strong bond together. There is probably nothing that he cannot do to impress Paxton and Kayley, but it all stems from his optimistic nature and sometimes out of complete boredom.

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Billie and Junie Bronson
Age: 5
Birthday: November 19th

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Bio: They were both unexpected, according to Paxton. Billie and Junie are the second set of twin girls born onbthe same day. They have a whole lot in common that you'd think they are one and the same. They are seen together most of the time, and it's almost impossible to tell them apart if it weren't for their clothing differences. They're even doing their very best at trying to speak in unison, even though it's much harder than it sounds and creeps everyone out. Both are evidently obsessed with their father, and their love for Paxton goes as far as not going a day or two without wanting to play with him. Very rarely do they ever fight - but then again, they wouldn't dare get in trouble when the parents are home, especially if Paxton is the one trying to keep a close eye on them.

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Other important characters

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Stephen Alcieu
Age: 32

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Bio: A bunny who recently moved to the city with his wife from a small town in Ohio for potential work opportunities. One evening he became good friends with Paxton at a local bar, and the two have been hanging out with each other quite often since. Stephen is known particularly known for his random string of emotions, which could change rather subtly, and without warning. One minute he could be very cheerful and outgoing, and the next minute he could be angry and shameful. Although he has a slender build, he isn't as strong as others think he is due to being a rabbit. His glasses are just for looks, as he can see very well without them. Stephen and his wife currently have two children, which goes against the common stereotype of rabbits being explosive breeders. They may be expecting more, but only the future could tell.

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James Darden
Age: 65

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Bio: Paxton's personal fitness trainer, and longtime good friend. He was formerly a high school P.E. teacher, which is why he prefers to be called "Coach". He ultimately decided that working only with teenagers wasn't in his best interests. He now helps anybody, human or animal, into getting in good shape. Paxton wouldn't be as strong he currently is without Darden's routine visits. The workouts that he provides are long and vigorous, yet for Paxton he doesn't care and loves it all the way through. All of this exercise and Paxton never loses weight at all, and James is understandably very shocked and confused.

James Darden might be middle-aged but that obviously doesn't prevent him from his true passion. He may not look like it but he's chock full of humor as well. It comes from a good handful of his clients that he picked up all of his jokes from. Yes, even an old guy like Coach Darden could dish out a few good laughs now and then!

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Samantha "Streaks" Eckerle
Age: 26

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Bio: Streaks is a black and white cat who was so named after her strange birthmark, a trio of lines that stretch across the lower left side of her face. She was picked on a whole lot for this when she was younger, but nowadays she can brush off any sort of teasing aside. She is the one that makes sure that her buddies don't go too far with their jokes and antics. They all went to the same school together in the same grade, which is why they are usually seen together. Only the chosen few get to call her by her real name because she's so used to getting called by her nickname all the time. Streaks was born in raised in Michigan, and despite living several years here is still unfamiliar with many parts of the city. She is based off of a stuffed animal that the author got to cheer himself up after bumping his head on a rock wall as a child.

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Rory Sanders
Age: 25

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Bio: Rory is perhaps the craziest person that Paxton has ever met. This husky is is what everyone calls a "cloudcuckoolander" - that is, his mind can be completely absent and non sequiturs could burst out of his mouth at very random times. He's also a bit of a prankster, the kind that would either set a whoopee cushion on a chair or go ding-dong-ditch several houses for laughs. It's a wonder how Rory never gotten arrested for these pranks, but he has had some run-ins with the law at times. It's believed that his childish, goofy behavior is all a facade. After all, he did manage to graduate from high school with a Core 40 diploma. Whatever the case, Rory tries to act normally around those who he doesn't know. And once you get to know him, you'll be glad you did - his all-around joyful attitude will forever be known by his pals.